Every now and then I get this weird ass stomach-indigestion-belch-o-rama thing happenin. I will be sitting someplace, minding my own business when I suddenly realize I have belched every 15 seconds for like the last hour. I'm serious. It's like I have swallowed four Alka Seltzer tablets whole and they are boiling in my belly. If the belches didn't vent this evil chemical action in my belly, I'm sure I would simply explode eventually.
I can see the headline now, "In a freak accident a Virginia man exploded today killing eleven."
Anyway, back to the part of this that is NOT about poop. The best, fastest cure for this weird ass stomach-indigestion-belch-o-rama condition is to chug a bit of cold Pepto Bismol right out of the fridge. Two minutes later, before the taste is gone from my mouth, the belching stops. This is why I love Pepto and always keep it on hand. Pepto has an odd side effect though. All matter processed on my gut is turned into very dry, very black, charcoal briquettes. I am talking VERY black. The need for TP is completely eliminated.
--So the next time it snows outside and you forgot to get TP. Go for the Pepto!!
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